Sacred Oath - Words Upon the Stone video (5:53-ish)

There is a point in this video (5:19 to be precise) where overcome by emotion vocalist/guitarist Rob Thorne transforms the branch he is holding into a guitar and totally wails out a slick lead and this song is already filled with enough slick leads. It would be a totally awesome eighties metal moment if wasn't done in 2007 and looked like it's from the early nineties. They even filmed it in B&W in a graveyard! There's also a young child present, this is just ticking boxes. You can probably guess how it's going to sound.

Tyrant - Warriors Of Metal (4:47-ish)

Not warriors in the sense of heshers banging against the stage, warriors in actual metal like knights and shit doing what heavy metal knights do best which is the cover of Bolt Thrower's album War Master. Tyrant come off a bit like a Christian Manowar which isn't too bad because they're totally heavy and don't seem to beat you over the head with it 'cause they do a couple of songs about evil. I can't really decide if I like Glen May's voice or Eric Adams' voice more but I do know that Manowar eventually lost the plot after a few albums whilst Tyrant have only three albums and a demo to their name but didn't start sucking. And now these dudes totally look like your dad.

Songs Of Praise (Of Heavy Metal)#4 - Metalucifer, Heavy Metal Hunter (part 2) (5:02-ish)

Or nearly every Metalucifer song ever. They push their metal praise to an even higher plane by loading the song with references to hundreds of other bands, this song is literally band names with some other words in between which is super sweet. They are still HUNTING for METAL despite being nothing but metal, tireless soldiers who should by all right be generals in the army of metal by now. Also I totally learned that there is actually a band named FACT that is four degrees away from Gamma Ray. You've gotta hear the guitars in this because it's thoroughly honest.

Songs Of Praise (Of Heavy Metal)#3 - Manowar, All Men Play On 10 (4:01-ish)

This is totally an anti-straights song because man, fuck those guys. Eric Adams ain't gonna listen to no suits and Manowar is just gonna just keep livin' heavy metal and fuck any skinny tied jaggoff who rolls their eyes and scoffs. Just who's band is still shaking the earth? Exactly.

Fucking Manowar man, they were always generals and not soldiers. When you give your life to metal you can't do it by halves. Get up there, burn some ears, blast the fuck outta that bass pedal, scream like a man trapped in a vice and just kill everything with power chords. You can't be in one of those shit licker bands who's just joking about, not if you want to kill with power brother.

Metal for life.

Songs Of Praise (Of Heavy Metal)#2 - Steel Assassin, Heavy Metal Soldiers (4:58-ish)

Steel Assassin is an awesome name for a band and with a name like that you damn well better be packing a song about heavy fucking metal. Metal soldiers who claw their way out from hell to kill the false and enslave the unenlightened with reverb and burning lead.

They're feeding off metal and tungsten steel
Eating iron bridges for fun
Flying in their metal atomic cars
Their power chords will darken the sun

Bad. Arse. Appearing on a demo there is no such thing as production so it sounds like it's just been unearthed which adds an extra dimension to the song.

Songs Of Praise (Of Heavy Metal)#1 - Cianide, Metal Never Bends (2:19-ish)

Heavy metal rules period and is worth worshipping because it is the highest power in many people's lives. It will never die as long as there are bands that scream of steel. Cianide come across like a hammer beating and they love metal which is the perfect mix for a hymn to power chords and demolishing a six pack whilst swinging an axe bladed or stringed.

Destroying the trends
Killing the false ones dead
Headbanging 'til the end

METAL NEVER BENDS

You're damn right it doesn't. Dependable Cianide, as strong as the metal they hail.

Trouble - Assassin (3:13-ish)

Trouble dig God and that is swell. This song ain't about God though it's about dudes that kill and is total speed metal overload but not quite as fast as the bullet that ends your world or the killer guitar tone that does your neck in. It's amusing to hear a whine like Eric Wagner's because it ain't intimidating in the least so hitmen the world around can sleep soundly in their beds tonight.

Sabbat - Mion's Hill (6:06-ish)

This was on, what, their first 7" and it's one of the best song's that they've ever done. It has this real nice acoustic bit at the start and then it's straight to the headbanging (0:27). It's pretty pagan but it still sounds really evil, even more evil than Mercyful Fate! Even more than Nunslaughter and this is Nunslaughter I'm talking about. It's also got my favourite solos of any evil metal song and there's about three or four of 'em.

Imagine a scene in a junkyard, fires all around. The camera pans past the band thrashing away vocalist with painted face writhing and gurning and waving a staff inter-cut with footage of a recreation of a ritual. During the solos there is fire breathing. That is what this song sounds like.

Slauter Xstroyes - Battle Axe (2:16-ish)

Here's to another year of not getting anything done! Yet another love song about guitars from the always interesting and entertaining Slauter Xstroyes, the most metal band to have rocked the planet. Sure a love song about a guitar sound ridiculous on paper and yeah, it's pretty ridiculous in practice but man do these guys know how to peel your face off with their burning rock. And those vocals. Crikey. If you ask me this shames just about every other heavy metal band out there that dares to label themselves as progressive.

Doomsword - Warbringers (6:32-ish)

I was listening to their s/t album the other day and it got to the solo in this song (3:20-4:01) and I thought: you know what, that really is a killer solo. The s/t is still my favourite album of theirs, it kinda sounds like Battleroar's Age Of Chaos album so much that I had to edit this twice to change the title and the tag from "Battleroar" to "Doomsword" because once it's in my head it'll never get out.